Review: Ravens

Ravens by George Dawes Green

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



I wanted very much to like Ravens. The set-up was certainly solid enough; two aimless twenty-something losers terrorize a family who recently won a mega-million dollar jackpot in order to extort half the winnings. Great! Yes, let's do this! My expectations were for something akin to Funny Games, perhaps. The dust jacket promised that this was "frightening, comic, and suspenseful", so I cracked it open and waited for the thrills to start.

And I waited. And waited. And waited.

There were just too many major problems with this one for me to ever really get into it.

Let's start with the characters. The Boatwrights are such a cliché of the "Southern Hick" family. Alcoholic mother spending too much on gin and lottery tickets. Too cool daughter just struggling to keep her head down, avoid her family, and get out of dodge. Spoiled younger brother. Pious father who is too much of a pushover to stand up to anyone. We've seen this a million times. This is not an interesting or new. Tara is the only remotely likable member of the main cast, and even she is only really likable in contrast to the completely unpleasant ensemble. Nell, the grandmother, is okay, but, again, the wacky, outrageous grandmother trope isn't particularly new or interesting. I hesitate to even get started on Romeo and Shaw. The nature of the friendship is bizarre and unbelievable, and their "plan" is so patently absurd that I was expecting to unravel literally as soon as they put it into action.

Instead, I'm expected to believe that this farce could continue for over a week?

So, let's talk about the plot, then. Shaw is able to come into their home and take them hostage, but he doesn't confiscate their phones or limit their internet usage for days? And yet, in all that time, none of them think to call the police? None of them try to contact help? The vague threat that Romeo--who can barely keep himself from crying--is out there waiting and will supposed kill their friends/loved ones if Shaw sends the signal or doesn't answer his phone? And, really, Romeo mentions to at least two or three people that he's planning to commit murders, but none of these people think to call the police? And why is Romeo so willing to murder? Because his stupid, creepo friend says "Hey, I've got this great plan. I just need you to act like a total psycho and maybe kill a bunch of people, but that's it."?

Meanwhile, Shaw makes pretty much no effort to protect himself, either. He lets the family stay in separate rooms, doesn't restrain them, and falls asleep six feet away from one of his hostages. The family literally offers him no actual resistance the entire time they're held captive, except to occasionally talk about possibly fighting back or calling for help. The third day in.

And should we talk about the fact that apparently Shaw is just so personable that both the daughter and mother are having elaborate sexual fantasies about their captor? While he's holding them hostage and constantly threatening to kill them and everyone they love. Okay, fine, we'll pretend the whole family is suffering Stockholm Syndrome. Sure. That makes total sense, and wasn't at all gross and creepy.

Don't even get me started on the weird pseudo-Jesus nonsense that pops up in the second half, when apparently the entire frickin' town starts to think Shaw is some kind of prophet or messiah figure. All it takes to make people think you're prophet is telling them you're giving your money to charity? Who the hell are these people?

While there were some excellent individual moments and scenes, the whole thing fails to come together, and, instead, is just a big, stupid mess.





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